A completely biased review of Zayn's Mind of Mine

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As literally everyone in the whole entire universe knows, Zayn Malik, former member of One Direction, has gone zolo. Today (March 25)he released his debut album Mind of Mine—the same date as when he left the band last year. As the ultimate hoe for Zayn, I am here to give you a song by song review of Mind of Mine with as little bias as possible. SIKE! This will definitely be biased. This mind of Zayn’s is full of sex, weed, R&B, pop and heartbreak. Strap on your zeatbelts because the variety of genres in this album is about to take you on the best ride of your life. Get ready for death by Zayn, and then resurrection by Zayn immediately after, repeatedly.  Here we go!

PILLOWTALK

You can’t turn on the radio without hearing this song playing. PILLOWTALK shot straight up to number one on Billboard’s Hot 100 and the infamous video for this song features super-hot, top-model girlfriend Gigi Hadid. So long story short, with lyrics such as, “A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw/Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day/Fucking you, and fighting on,” Zayn presents us with just the tip of the sex iceberg that this album really is.

iT’s YoU

In this second song given to the public pre-album release, we receive a beautiful, soulful ballad. Zayn collectively lifts all souls, no matter how sinful, into the highest kingdom of heaven with his ethereal high notes, only to crush us in his hand (he’s God) and immediately slam us back down onto earth with his heart-breaking lyrics. Seriously. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hffbFKHJS4]BeFoUr

THE SHADE!!! As everyone who is alive and not living under a rock on an entirely different planet knows, Zayn gained his fame through famous boyband One Direction, and left last year due to feeling creatively stifled and wanting to live a “normal life” (though dating an international supermodel and continuing to make music is not what I consider “normal”). The concept behind BeFoUr, which I’m sure is safe to assume means before One Direction and his FOUR bandmates,  was apparently  created while Zayn was sitting in a club in Las Vegas and said, according to producer Malay Ho, “This situation, me in Vegas, I’ve done this before a million times, like all over the world, but not like this.”  This can definitely be proven in the first lyrics of the song, “I’ve done this before/ Not like this.” cRaZy, am I right?

sHe

sHe is a mixture of R&B and pop. It’s kind of hard to decipher what one should feel while listening to this song. If you’re an avid car dancer like me, it is especially difficult to figure out how one should jam in the car to this tune. Crumping or slow body rolls? Rapid switching of both moves? But then when do you switch? The song is about a flower-girl type woman who is both carefree and lovesick. Pretty typical. Not my favorite song, but still incredible.

dRuNk

Definitely a body-roll song. Tina Belcher body rolls. This Usher-esque blues song has a slow rhythm that will stir you in your iT’s YoU grave with its sexy high notes. The tune is about being drunk all summer on both love and alcohol. With lyrics like, “Late nights, red eyes, amnesia, I need ya,” you’ll want to spend the remaining summers of the rest of your life with Zayn.

INTERMISSION: fLoWer

During the album intermission, we are met with Zayn reaching into his Desi roots, singing this entire song in Urdu. You will feel nothing but happiness and love while listening to this, even if you don’t understand the lyrics. Zayn singing entirely in Urdu for the intermission of his album reminds us of just how authentic he is to himself.

rEaR vIeW

After listening to this song you will most likely stare out your window for 27 hours straight with tears continually streaming down your face, and you will also have this song on repeat throughout the full 27 hours. It’s just … so beautiful. rEaR vIeW seems to be from the perspective of a person who is watching someone they love repeatedly make mistakes with their lives and get hurt in the process, all the while being incapable of helping this someone, because the someone can’t give them the love they deserve. I know – deep AF. This is truly a lyrical masterpiece with beautiful music — an incredible song that proves that One Direction really did stifle Zayn’s incredible ability and creativity. I just … PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG. IT’S WORTH THE PAIN.

wRoNg ft. Kehlani

Personally my favorite song on the album. I am trying very, very, VERY hard to not lose my cool while discussing this song. Zayn inserts his Playa’ Status card into the game and ultimately shatters all the hearts of Zayn lovers into one trillion pieces, not because we are heart-broken, but because the overall sex appeal of this song was too much for our hears to take. Zayn sings “I’ll get her wetter than ever” and uh, yeah. The bass drop in this song will also drop all of your clothing along with the ability to think properly. Zayn’s incredibly elastic voice mixed with Kehlani’s Aaliyah-esque sound will both stop and start your heart. This song is perfect for clubs and … other places (wink wink).  With the lyrics, “You’re looking in the wrong place for my love/Don’t think because you’re with me this is real,” Zayn officially cements himself into our brains as a ridiculously sexy, Rolling-Stone-brand, unattainable bad boy.

fOoL fOr YoU

A very wide turn away from the sound we’ve had in the first eight songs, Zayn gives us a strong piano ballad in fOoL fOr YoU. The perfect way to picture this song is imagining what one might hear playing in the credits at the end of a romantic comedy. Zayn unleashes the full power of his belting skills in this ballad along with the wide variety of his musical taste and talent. Zayn can truly sing anything.

BoRdErSz

This jam is just effortlessly cool. A song enjoyable for anytime and anyplace. BoRdErSz is just so chill, that’s all I can really say about it. Just imagine all the chill-ness of the world compacted into four zuper chill minutes.

tRuTh

OK I know I just said that BoRdErSz is the chillest song, but tRuTh is truly just a cool, cool jam. Zayn reestablishes himself as effortlessly cool in this tune. Listening to this song is like watching Gigi Hadid lounge by an infinite pool while diving into the pool for a swim, all in slow motion. But that is just the sound of the song — once you actually start to listen to the lyrics, it seems as though Zayn might be discreetly trying once again to state that One Direction just wasn’t for him. “This ain't my scene/This wasn't my dream/It was all yours…I got caught up in this game/And you know I won’t say names.” *side eye emoji*

lUcOzAdE

Oh man. Zayn says he smokes certain strains of weed while writing some of his songs to help his creative process, and this is definitely one of those songs. That’s really all I have to say. Have I mentioned Zayn is a lyrical genius? OK.

TiO

TiO stands for Take it Off, so get ready for a sexual awakening that you didn’t even know was sleeping inside of you! This song … lemme tell you. Nothing can prepare you for the sexiness of this song. The beat is incredible, Zayn is incredible, the whole thing is incredible. You will probably faint before Zayn can finish the first five words, and if you don’t, you definitely will when Zayn sings, “Push me up against the wall.” I just got chills writing that.

BLUE

This is just the most beautiful love song in the world and I demand that everyone everywhere listens to it. It’s basically Cupid’s arrow put into a song, so put in on blast when walking by your crush. It’s incredibly beautiful and makes you feel as though you’re sleeping on a cloud next to God (Zayn).

BRIGHT

Zayn wants to “see you bright.” DOPE song.

LIKE I WOULD

GET READY TO DANCE UNTIL YOU’RE DEAD. LITERALLY. The ULTIMATE bop. When the beat drops there is no going back, your legs will dance until you die, and then in the afterlife you will continue to dance. There’s no escape. I listened to this song for ten hours straight on a long train ride. I’m not even joking. I had it on repeat the whole time, and you will most likely have it on repeat for the rest of your life. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqLzjlA2hYw&w=560&h=315]

SHE DON’T LOVE ME

Ah, the last song of the album. I will leave this closing piece for you to judge. All I have to say is that I love Zayn.

In conclusion, One Direction has held back Zayn and the gift he is for music and I will probably never forgive them for it. This album is ten stars out of five and I recommend everyone and anyone to listen to Mind of Mine, available on iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and just about everywhere. Now I must go my friends, for I have an appointment at Target to buy one thousand copies of Mind of Mine. Goodbye, I love Zayn.


Jenny Aranda is a dog enthusiast and the queen of procrastination. She loves One Direction with no shame, books and movies, and she is addicted to the outdoors. On a typical day you can find her outside smiling at all passing dogs and drinking water from her reusable bottle.