6 Things I'm Tired of Hearing from Young Republicans

 
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It has become popular these days for young conservatives and Republicans to whine on the Internet about how maligned and misunderstood they are. That's fine, I guess. But if we're going to have a bipartisan conversation, can we at least be less stupid about it?

It's time to retire some of the most simplistic tropes from this "I'm a conservative and human, too" genre. Here are 6 things I'm tired of hearing from young Republicans.

1. "I'm not anti-gay, I'm just anti-gay marriage./"It's not a War on Women, it's a War on Abortion."/"I'm not anti-immigrant, I only oppose illegal immigration."

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...It's the same thing. When the fight against same-sex marriage turns into a fight for the right to discriminate, the pro-life movement works to prevent women from getting legally-mandated health insurance coverage, and laws to deport undocumented immigrants actually allow racial profiling against all Latinos, it's pretty hard to argue the distinction.

2. "I'm fiscally conservative and socially liberal."

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First of all, no, you aren't. That's not really a thing. But moreover, if you really cared about the economy, you would be a Democrat.

3. "All lives matter."

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Well, yes, but not all lives are routinely discarded and treated like they don't matter. This isn't about you right now.

4. "Liberals are intolerant. You have to respect my opinion, too."

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First of all, it helps when your opinion is backed up by facts. Secondly, it helps when your opinion doesn't invalidate someone else's fundamental human rights. And lastly: Wow, doesn't it suck when your ideas are systematically ignored because of who you are?

5. "Why is it my fault my parents worked hard and were successful?"

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It isn't, but neither is it the fault of Black families in America that they are worth, on average, only six percent as much as a white family, and Latinos only own eight percent of what a white family does. Unless you think Black and Latino people are just inherently less intelligent, hardworking, and talented than white people (in which case, congratulations, you're a racist), then hard work isn't the only factor that goes into being successful. It helps if you're white, and it helps if you start off middle-class or wealthy.

6. "I won't vote for Drumpf until I have to."

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Enough said.


Jacqui is a terrible dinner party guest—she only knows how to talk about politics and religion. On a typical Friday night, she can be found binge-watching her current Netflix show of choice, playing Civilization: The Board Game and drinking <$8 bottles of champagne.