We've already lost


One of my responsibilities as the politics editor here at Bottle Magazine is to publish a recap of the third presidential debate in funny tweets. But I'm not going to do that tonight because this isn't fucking funny.*

I have a lot of friends who are recruiting people to get out the vote and firing them up about winning electoral votes and Senate seats that could never otherwise go to Democrats. They are excited about the changes this election can bring, and they are contagious, and may God bless them. They've convinced me—I'll be spending my Saturdays between now and November 8th walking the streets of Tucson to turn Arizona blue, too.

Still, I believe this with all my heart: Even if Hillary wins in a fifty-state landslide, we have already lost.

What happens in Vegas; stays in Vegas. For instance, Trump’s last chance to become president. #debatenight

— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) October 20, 2016


When Donald Trump is a major party candidate, permitted to stand on a national platform next to Hillary Clinton and gaslight us all, we have already lost.

[Trump stabs Clinton, pulls gun, vows to flee to mountains with guerillas]

Undecided voter: I feel like the don't get along with each other https://t.co/1IPudiM7cN

— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) October 20, 2016


When the democratic and peaceful transition of power is openly threatened, we have already lost.

Right now a group of SNL writers are trying to figure out a way to make the threat of political violence funny

— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) October 20, 2016

Trump, enemy of democracy: 1) My opponent shouldn't be allowed to run 2) If I lose, I may dispute outcome 3) If I win, she will go to jail.

— David Leonhardt (@DLeonhardt) October 20, 2016


When a campaign premised entirely on xenophobia...

Trump: "We have some bad hombres here and we're going to get them out." Call me paranoid but I think he means Mexicans.

— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) October 20, 2016



Trump’s use of “inner city” as a synonym for “black” is badly outdated. #debatenight https://t.co/Lv8kHAxnzn

— FiveThirtyEight (@FiveThirtyEight) October 20, 2016



"Grabbing," "ripping", and the many other disturbing verbs Trump uses related to women's vaginas

— Maddie Oatman (@moatman) October 20, 2016



"He mocked a disabled reporter at one of his rallies." "Wrong."

Go-Go Gadget Fact-Check! pic.twitter.com/chm19pnEum

— Scott Bixby (@scottbix) October 20, 2016



A report shows a rise in anti-Semitic Twitter harassment, particularly directed at journalists who criticize Trump https://t.co/YaRZxzJAgI

— The New Yorker (@NewYorker) October 19, 2016



Trump's '5-point plan to defeat Islam https://t.co/0n1H7SKVkw pic.twitter.com/hTOTjI83gH

— The Atlantic (@TheAtlantic) October 19, 2016


...and pure shit...

How Trump became our conspiracy theorist in chief https://t.co/q1sKX7InDS

— Mother Jones (@MotherJones) October 18, 2016


...when that campaign successfully secures ~40% of this nation's vote, we have already lost.

So no, I won't celebrate all the shade Hillary threw on Donald tonight. That would require legitimizing his presence in this election at all. It would require me acknowledging the sexist undertones of how this debate played out and the sexist overtones of how we as a society decided that there should be a contest between this woman and this man.

Trump just interrupted Clinton, and when she continued to talk, Chris Wallace told *Hillary* to shut up. #debate pic.twitter.com/qsviH3rfWx

— Jacqui Oesterblad (@JOesterblad) October 20, 2016

Wallace to Trump: why would so many women make up stories in last weeks? to Clinton: Mr trump says what your husband did was worse?

— Andrea Mitchell (@mitchellreports) October 20, 2016

This election draws into relief how women are penalized for not being perfect while men are rewarded for not being terrible.

— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) September 27, 2016


I won't do it. Even when the punchline of the joke is "Hillary is winning!" I can't laugh, and neither should you.

Trump: "we're going to do it BIGLY"

Hillary: pic.twitter.com/9dtjrFuiAF

— BuzzFeed (@BuzzFeed) October 20, 2016


Nobody is winning this dumpster-fire-in-hellfire-in-front-of-a-firing-squad election.

Don't laugh. Don't cry. (<--Advice I could do a better job of listening to, myself.) Don't boo. Vote.

"Remember what the president said last night: Don’t boo, vote!” —Hillary: https://t.co/xahMq2KuSY

— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) July 29, 2016

And then rebuild.

Don't let this happen again.

Jacqui is a terrible dinner party guest—she only knows how to talk about politics and religion. On a typical Friday night, she can be found binge-watching her current Netflix show of choice, playing Civilization: The Board Game and drinking <$8 bottles of champagne.

*But of course, I still had to include funny tweets. I'm a millennial, and this is a new media site, and that's what we do.