The Hank Chronicles


The Hank Chronicles is a Bottle Magazine series in which we attempt to deconstruct the intricacies of the Trump Era through the lens of a mother and her chocolate Labrador. You can read the previous posts here.

Hank wants to know what kind of dog the new president will have in the White House. He is concerned that Barron seems like the type of small human that probably has allergies and won't be able to have a dog (even though there are dogs for those kind of humans).

He shared those concerns with me while we were watching the Women's March on Washington last Saturday. Hank is a feminist, so I was pretty sure he would enjoy it. There were a lot of dogs at that march and Hank was pretty sure he was supposed to bethere. He would've been good. Really, really good. Unbelievably good. I think you would have been very happy with him. But since Hank lives in Arizona and has a terrible sense of time and space, I couldn't really explain this to him.

We sat on the couch together watching C-SPAN, listening to the most amazing, articulate women speak from their hearts about things that actually matter. It was so powerful. The message was clear. We MUST not stay home on our couches. We MUST keep this message moving forward. This momentum must continue. But how?

As a (b)older bottle bitch, I have total faith in my younger bottle bitches. Our perspectives may be different but the path is clear. Hank and I have spent some serious time detailing what it is that bothers us about this nut. (The list is very long.) Personally, I can’t think of one thing I admire about him. I think he is a disgusting excuse for a human being. He stands for everything that I hate.  I am mortified that my country voted him in as the leader of the free world. But that’s just me.

Hank and I are starting our own movement. We will be chronicling our journey monthly, navigating the women's movement throughout different cities in the West. Through the lens of both an exuberant, cheerful, not too brave lab and a (b)old bottle bitch, we will simply be asking the questions.

Hank and I hope that by just asking, in some small way, we can keep people thinking.

Tori is the mother of three grown children who lead impactful, engaged, and interesting lives. Her career of 30+ years as a nurse has been consumed by working exclusively with women and children. When she isn’t working, you can find her hiking in the mountains behind her home or taking long, chaotic walks with her new baby, Hank, a chocolate lab and c0-author of this column. If you ever meet Tori, you can count on her having dog treats and a blue poop bag in her pocket.